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my little kite
11.24.04 10:22 pm

I know.
I do.
And I don't forget even for second.
It just didn't work.
I absolutely, one hundred percent realize this.
But what the brain knows, the heart won't accept, and the soul is pretty fucking skeptical of as well.
And for all the sappy, drippy, gooey things I've said and felt, there are angry, bitter and poisonous antitheses.
It was like the perfect storm, fiercly intense in attraction and just as fiercely destructive.
And now I have to begin the extraction. As a survival mechanism, really.
His things from my house, his name from my vocabulary, and him from my mind.
It's spectacular, really. The intesity of the pain. Intensely consuming.
But life goes on and hopefully up.
Maybe love will fade just as fast as the bitterness does.
No more late-night talks, no more late-night fights.
No more inside jokes, no more spewed insults and accusations.
I know there is something better. I absolutely belive there is. Something kinder, wiser, more tender and more fulfilling. I know that in this loss I have gained the possibility of something amazing and more profound.
But for now, I'm stuck on the last page, reading and rereading the last line, until my mind convinces my heart and my soul comes around.
"The end."

_____

The Sunday after there was laughter in the air
Everybody had a kite
They were flying everywhere
And all the trouble went away
And it wasn't just a dream
All the trouble went away
And it wasn't just a dream

In the middle of the night
We try and try with all our mights
To light a little light down here
In the middle of the night
We dream of a million kites
Flying high above
The sadness and the fear

Little sister just remember
As you wander through the blue
The little kite that you sent flying
On a sunny afternoon
Made of something light as nothing
Made of joy that matters too
How the little dreams we dream
Are all we can really do

In the middle of the night
The world turns with all of it's might
A little diamond colored blue
In the middle of the night
We keep sending little kites
Until a little light gets through

'Kite" ~ Patty Griffin