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Everything and nothing.
01.15.05 4:19 am

Ok.
Fuck all that hope shit.
"Hope." How pleasant.
Hope and sunshine and rainbows and unicorns, oh my!
When you want to jump out of your own skin and it's crawling and you're anxious and you feel like you gave up everything for nothing and there's so many questions and so few answers and you're spending the weekend alone, the nanny for a bunch of animals and you want everything you can't have and feel you can never get and you want to be anywhere but here and everything you're not and you had three shots of vodka, straight up, and passed out on the couch watching a French film whose subtitles made you drowsy, and you have too much time on your hands to think, and to do, but you're too anxious to do anything or something so instead you do nothing, then what?
I ask you: What the fuck then?

From Fight Club:
"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not. "

"It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."