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Imaginary friend
January 07, 2002 5:39 a.m.

My best friend and I are dieting. Yes. to lose weight.

We have in fact named our combined excess weight. Ahem.

We've named it "Fatty."

We refer to Fatty in conversation sometimes, as though she is an actual human.

Fatty is one of those people that hangs around with you, even though you don't really like them. But you feel bad, so you don't say anything, even though the person annoys the fuck out of you every second they're around. The reason they have to tag around with you is because no one likes them.

NO ONE LIKES FATTY. She needs to go away now.