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Weekend Disease
November 26, 2001 2:52 a.m.

I think I have the weekend disease.

What is the weekend disease, you ask?

The weekend disease is an ailment that primarily affects people who have two days off in a row. Common symptoms are as follows:

1. Complete lack of motivation to do anything remotely beneficial to life goals.

2. Strange obsession with junk food.

3. Strong longing to watch tv/movies and surf the internet.

4. Complete inability to awake prior to 12 pm.

5. Fear of showering prior to 4 pm

6. Urge to wear same clothes day after day.

7. If for some strange reason a beneficial project is started, an immediate urge to go shopping at wal-mart ensues.

8. Extreme fascination within completely useless projects such as reorganizing diaryrings, or reading liner notes of cds you bought 4 years ago.

9. Mysterious loss of "list of things to do this weekend" page you made friday night at work.

10. Compulsive urges to buy bizarre exercise equipment as seen on infomercial.

Normal motivation should return approximately 3 hours prior to the time you should be sleeping Sunday Night. This causes a frenzy of activity between the hours of 10 p.m. and 5 a.m., which results in a complete lack of sleep and a series of half-finished projects. Symptoms usually reappear a week from initial onset.