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Tears on Earth
November 05, 2001 3:17 a.m.

Up until I walked through the doors of the funeral home, I was able to choke back my tears, or will them away.

I avoided looking at the casket, until I was ready to formally take it all in.

Instead I focused on the 7-year old cousin/best friend standing quietly by his dad's side. The tear-stained faces of the grandparents busying themselves taking care of the other grandchildren. The aunts with tears running down their faces.

As I read the board his classmates had made, full of memories and stories, one girl pointed out to me the story she had made.

My Grandma hugged me tightly, and then rubbed my back as we stood, trying to console me, but really trying to calm herself.

I cried as I looked at his small body in his camoflage jumpsuit, his favorite yellow hat on his head, his G.I. Joe doll by his side.

I cried when I looked the pictures, the one of me holding him when he was little.

I cried as I read the sweet letters he had written to his mom.

But nothing affected me as much as seeing his little cousin Nell crying in her Mom's arms, Grandpa C.J.'s eyes welling up as we hugged, his cousin Travis saying, "Goodbye Timmy, I'll miss you." to his body, My Dad, his godfather & uncle, consoling my mom and me with tears in his eyes, or Timmy's mother, Rose, silently sobbing at his casket.