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Working it all out in my head....
September 19, 2001 2:19 a.m.

Another thing that has been bothering me, is that my old boss said that I was immature.

Now, I'm not sure if he said this because of what I wrote in my diary, because I have a diary, or because I wasn't enthusiastic about the job.

(Pardon me, I'm just trying to sort this all out in my head.)

First off, what I wrote WAS immature. That's why I did it in my anonymous diary, instead of saying it to his face.

Secondly, if writing in a diary is immature, then I guess I'm it. I don't want to be an old stressed out person who's life is so revolved around making money that they can't even realistically assess their situation and how to make it better. I AM young. I don't have a business, a family, kids. I should be writing, working out my feelings, expressing myself, being creative. That's what you are supposed to do when you're my age.

Finally, my attitude about my job stemmed from the following things:

1. The fact that I was given almost no direction whatsoever.

2. I did almost no creative work.

3. I did almost no work that involved any thought or intelligence whatsoever.

4. The person who was supposed be fixing the computers:

a) Basically told me that I was an idiot all the time.

b) Told my boss I was an idiot and that I didn't know how to operate the computer (which if you know me at all, you know is a complete lie, as I am a total computer nerd, and AM very proficient at operating a mac, and have NEVER had a problem using one for the past three years that I have been exposed to them. And, not to be overly boastful, but I think the point is relevant: I DID fix my own computer even after the apple tech support person told me it was hopeless.)

c) Constantly assured me that I would never do any real design work for the company, that my boss was never going to go in the direction for which he hired me, that my boss's business was never going to succeed, and that my boss was a bad business venture, who never paid him for his work.

5. I felt like I was under constant suspician of committing the same sins as my predecessor (who supposedly stole lots of stuff and didn't do anything, although now that my boss is lying about my job performance, it makes me wonder if there was really any truth to the allegations, after all there wasn't that much work to do...maybe the case was the same for my predecessor. And if he really did steal all that stuff, why didn't my boss press charges? Is he going to tell the next person he hires that I stole stuff too, because I sarcastically said I did in my diary?)

**As a side note, I would just like to point out that it seems extremely unprofessional for an employer to not only be divulging personal information about former co-workers but to refer to them by first and last name, and to be telling people that they stole hundereds if not thousands of dollars of stuff from his business even though this person has never been formally convicted or even charged of these crimes. I think I will look into the legality of this and employee's rights, as I'm sure my former boss will have all kinds of juicy stuff to say about me to the next person he hires and probably everyone he knows, thus giving me a bad reputation and slandering my name to many people. This is an extremely bad thing in small town esp. bad if he is lying!