If you love something...
03.31.05.12:25 pm

The Rabbit Hole
03.12.05.12:43 am

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Who the hell are you?
02.10.05.2:49 pm

99 problems
02.02.05.6:44 pm


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Connection.
September 13, 2001 12:17 a.m.

Although I do admit that what I wrote was very stupid and putting it on the internet even more so,

my overwhelming feeling is that I wish I never had gotten involved with such a screwed-up, poorly-run operation. And with people that are so freaked-out and paranoid that they are willing to act so unprofessionally, irrationally and with such a lack of integrity. All I am is an extremely convenient scapegoat. I hope when I am that age I am not so desperate and out of touch with reality.

I have written anonymously in an online diary, and that is all. Anyone who has read my diary has to take responsibility for any assumptions you made based upon what I wrote, as I have not directed anything specifically towards anybody, and have kept my entries anonymous.

However, the general consensus of my friends and family is that it's probably good that I got out when I did as the business is about as stable as the wtc post-plane crash and prior to collapsing. I just hope that I am the only casualty, as other people have far more invested in it.

If anyone needs further clarification in this matter, I in no way damaged any equipment at my former place of employment. I could never and would never knowingly harm someone else's personal property no matter how I felt about that person. Any indication in this website that I did such a thing was COMPLETELY SARCASTIC and in reaction to others' paranoia. And if you are ignorant enough to believe that I did, or are accusing me knowing that I didn't, than I only pity you.

I thought I had the situation worked out, and interested parties understood my intentions in writing what I wrote, but apparantly those interested parties have a different story for every person they talk to INCLUDING the person they themselves accused of actually being the ones "SABOTAGING" their computer system.

In any case like my mom says, "at least it was a job and not a marriage."

For now, I will get on with my life. And if those people I mentioned earlier are still reading this than so be it. If that's what you want to do with your time, print it out and plaster it to your forehead for all I care. If that's the kind of person you are. I am asking you to get out and stay out of my life, to not read this and to leave me alone. What you do is up to you.

And to all the other people who read this who support and respect me and are not just looking to mock, humiliate and slander me, I appreciate you.

For now I will stay unlocked, I don't know how I will feel in the future.

A lot of people have asked, "why write in an online diary?" Thinking that it's "weird."

The first reason I write, is to write. Period. To relieve all the frustrations of life that otherwise would stay bottled up.

Otherwise the reason is connection.

It's about realizing there are other people in the world who feel exactly what I'm feeling right now. It's about people writing to me and saying, "I can relate to you." It's about being touched by the lives of everyday human beings and their personal experiences and more recently shared experiences. It's about perspective. Realizing I had never thought about something that way. It's about the support I get. The support I give. It's about staying connected to people that I would otherwise lose contact with. It's about stepping out of my life and my problems and realizing everyone has their own. Every person. It's about amazingly talented writers who have yet to be discovered.

And I'm not sure I'm going to be bullied into giving it up.