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Permanent Results Without Permanent Dieting
2001-05-29 3:45 a.m.

I have started my new diet, that I said I would start approximately six years ago, but never did until now, because I am too lazy.

Diet conversation at work tonight:

Me: I'm hungry!

Fellow Employee: You want a cookie?

Me: NO! GET IT AWAY! PLEASE! (COVERING EYES)

Me: I want carbohydrates!!!!!!

FE: No you don't.

Me: I am hungry!!! AGRHGRURHGUR!

FE: NO YOU'RE NOT.

Me: I NEEEEEEED Carbohydrates.

FE: (Rolls over in chair, looks me in eye) If you are hungry you have to brush your teeth or chew ice. It works, I've heard.

Me: Okay, I'll try it.

Me(Five Minutes Later): I'm hungry, MUST HAVE CARBS NOW!

FE: Do you want me to beat you with this cookie on your head?

Me: I will not be conquered by carbohydrates, dammit.