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Dear Pepsi
2001-05-26 12:35 a.m.

Dear Pepsi,

I am sorry to have to write this letter. I having been drinking you for many years since my break-up with Cherry Coke. And up until this point you have been a faithful beverage. You even made yourself available to me in fresh, frosty bottles at work for only 75 cents. I appreciate this, I really do.

However the time has come for us to part ways.

Have I found someone new? Yes. His name name is Coca-Cola.

It all started with my first frozen Coke at Burger King. After that, there was no stopping our relationship. And then when you got Britney as a sponsor? I was really dissapointed in you. I just don't feel the same, now that I associate you with skanky outfits, and terrible singing. Bob Dole just can't make up for that bra and suspenders outfit, I'm sorry.

Me and coke have a very special relationship. I like to freeze bottles of Coke until it is slushy and then put it in my freezy mug. I could never do that with you, Pepsi. Plus, Christina Aguilera is a spokesperson for Coke, and you know how I feel about her. Coke understands me, Pepsi.

I wish there was a way we could work this out, but there is not. Good luck in your future endeavors.

Love,

Tara